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22-Sep-2018 03:18

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"Among the many blessings that God has showered upon us in Christ is the blessing of marriage, a gift bestowed by the Creator from the creation of the human race…It is a source of blessing to the couple, to their families, and to society and includes the wondrous gift of co-creating human life.Indeed, as Pope John Paul II never tired of reminding us, the future of humanity depends on marriage and the family."– U. Catholic Bishops, 2009 Pastoral Letter: Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan The Bishops launched the National Pastoral Initiative for Marriage in 2005 to call attention to the meaning and value of married life for the Church and for society.I naively hoped everyone would be color-blind—which is not what happened.When my grandparents met Justin, my grandmother was cordial but cold. When it came time for them to leave, my grandparents didn’t even acknowledge him.

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But we’d go to late movies or take walks through the city together.

We had a spot on 14th Street and Seventh Avenue where we loved to sit and chat.

Yet despite how wonderful everything was, I still kept part of myself in reserve.

Instead my grandmother looked me in the eye, with Justin standing behind me, and said, “Tell that guy I said goodbye.”I had never seen my loving, hardworking, and wonderful grandma be so hurtful and so racist. After they left I took Justin on a ride to get out of the house.

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I’ll never forget what he said as we drove around town: “Racism is never surprising but always disappointing.”Justin made me understand that someone like my grandma only saw black men depicted on television in situations involving guns, rape, and violence—situations that perpetuate racist stereotypes against black people in general and black men in particular.

While Justin offered so much of himself through our conversations, I answered his probing questions with this: “If I know you in six months, I’ll tell you.”So how did I finally know he was the one worth putting myself out there for? Now, I should probably mention that Justin is black, and that I didn’t grow up around many black people.



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